[WordPress seems to have eated a newer version of this blog. I'm editing it again, but I'll keep this version up for now. Damn you WordPress.]

In the latest episode of the podcast Out of the Game, the gang discusses (among other things) Malclom Gladwell and a selection of his essays. Shawn Elliott brings up in particular The Art of Failure. The topic is about how people allow themselves to fail by choking (thinking too much) or panicking (not thinking enough), also known as performance anxiety. Shawn mentions Dock Ellis and his LSD-fueled no hitter, specifically this superb animated video wherein Ellis discusses the incident in candid hilarity:

At around 3:37, Dock Ellis explains that he dealt with “the fear of losing, the fear of winning” by self-medicating. The LSD dumbed the potential for performance anxiety. He instinctively relied upon muscle memory and his philosophical zombie, his subconscious, while his conscious experience was elsewhere.

Though I’ve always considered the idea of a philosophical zombie, it was never formalized as an idea, to me, until I read Robert J. Sawyer’s novel, MindScan. I’ve observed the phenomenon many times whilst playing video games or driving, or do anything other activity which has a possible tie with muscle memory while a part of my consciousness engaged in an activity requiring high-functionality, such as a conversation I’m interested in. There is debate about the philosophical zombie, and I’m not deeply read on the subject. When I use the term philosophical zombie, I refer only to the above mentioned phenomenon.

Robert Ashley suggests that some levels of inebriation can prove beneficial in some gaming, mentioning experiences he had with Geometry Wars. He observed how high of a score he could obtain at various levels of inebriation; he didn’t specify on what drugs, though. I think there’s definitely something to this. It’s as if inebriation, depending upon the intoxicant, peels the conscious experience away from another part of the brain, the zombie. I recall playing Geometry Wars better when I was experimenting with marijuana years ago. The same occurred when playing racing games, and even platform games, but not games requiring deep concentration for strategy and tactics – though, I expect this to differ for each person and each intoxicant.

Jeff Green mentioned that while playing Bejeweled Blitz, he plays best when he’s on the phone and not entirely focused on the game. He’s talking about the philosophical zombie taking over. When distracted with another activity which is engaging a certain part of the brain, you’re not worried about how you’re performing. It’s the same as when Dock Ellis was high off his ass. He wasn’t worried in the slightest about how good or bad he was doing since that part of his consciousness was on a whole ‘nother level.

I have trouble playing competitive multiplayer games because my competitive nature comes out, leaving me anxious and frustrated. This has a serious impact on my performance because I choke. Trash talking can incite the same sensation for people like me. I remember a time when I was playing competitive Halo 3 at a friend’s house against a particular dude just as competitive as I am and he was constantly kicking my ass, and not just that night but every “Halo night” get-together. On this particular “Halo night” I forced myself to relax and not take the game serious. Keep in mind, this is not something I can repeat consistently, hence why I seldom play competitive multiplayer. When I accomplished this state of don’t-give-a-fuck my performance increased. In fact, he was getting increasingly frustrated and in-turn progressively played worse. When engaged due to competitiveness or distracted by trash talking (emotions take over), the conscious experience remains tied to the philosophical zombie, and the zone is more difficult to achieve.

When I’m intoxicated I write better because my inner-editor isn’t such a dick, because it doesn’t give a shit if what I’m writing sucks or not. I don’t over-think, or choke, so much about what I’m writing. Jeff Green mentions NaNoWriMo, which offers a lesson on getting over the impact of performance anxiety. As Jeff expresses in the podcast, this is a liberating experience (one I’ve never had the pleasure of feeling, unfortunately). But, drinking helps. Just as it helps a social anxiety-ridden schmuck in approaching women or in feeling more comfortable at social events. When you don’t over-think what others might think or say about you, you perform your true act with amazing results (you can actually be yourself).

When listening to most music, my consciousness is engaged with whatever task is at hand whilst my philosophical zombie takes in the music. I don’t generally listen to music with lyrics, or if the music does have lyrics I don’t pay attention to what they are. My mind takes in the pitch and tone, the basics of the entire melody, the beat and its tempo and that’s about it. In fact, I find it difficult to enjoy lyrical music because it’s difficult to pay attention to lyrics. This is unique to me because of whatever attention deficit problem I have. Whatever music my philosophical zombie or subconscious or whatever-the-hell-it-is absorbs has a significant impact on how my the rest of my mind works, as I believe it’s directly tied into the emotional fixings of my brain. This I know isn’t unique to me.

So, when I listen to hip-hop and R&B or any other music hipsters and elitists might call mindless, for me it is mindless — but only because it’s absorbed by a portion of my consciousness which doesn’t use any analytical procedures against it, which ignores qualia.